I was to go back to my last assignment for developing a character and add more detail about the person and the scene. They wanted you to use your powers of observation to add sights, smells and sounds to the story.
The hardest part of this was the space count. I edited and edited and edited to get it down to fit in the space provided. I went from 1952 spaces to finally 1201.... Wait 1201. One freakin' character off.
Oh hell, if the reader can't tell the story is over, they need a whole lot more than one freakin' period.
So here is the final draft... all 1200 freakin' spaces of it.
As I listened to the
bird's and watched the ever changing pattern of sunlight through the
tree leaves, I heard the deep rumble of the school bus. With the
sweet smell of honeysuckle lost in the acid smell of diesel fumes the
big yellow bus came to a stop. The doors opened and I saw her on the
steps. Her light brown hair swung forward hiding her face. A pair of
worn blue jeans and red short sleeve t-shirt accenting her small
frame. A sweater stuck out of a backpack that looked to weigh as much
as she did. She slowly stepped down onto the black asphalt, took a
few steps turned and waved to the bus. She fussed with her backpack,
casting a sideways look through a curtain of hair. The boisterous
noise of kids faded, she turned to go. The poor dear was limping and
could only hobble a few feet before crumbling forward like someone
let the air out of her. “Are you okay?” At the sound of my voice
she jerked up and made a quick swipe at the tears I saw running down
her face. She tried to smile, but failed. She shook her head and
struggled to walk without limping. Recognizing that resolve to show
no weakness, I offered her a tall stick 'to keep the dogs away' and
watched her gallantly walk on
