Could you hold please...Do I really have a choice ...

   Have you ever got one of these calls.  The phone rings you answerer it only to here a mechanical voice say,  “Please stay on the line for an important phone call.  We will be with you shortly.”
   Companies are now calling you up to put you on hold.  It is bad enough when you call them and you get “Thank you for calling.  Please hold.”  If your lucky you just heard an actual human voice tell you that.  It is probably the last human voice you will hear for quite awhile.  Unless you are calling to buy something, then they answer real quick.
   When you are on hold you listen to muzak or a recorded infomercial  for the company.  Then they tease you by taking you off hold only to hear the mechanical voice tell you “Your call is very important to us.  Please continue to hold.” and back on hold you go.  If my call was that important to them they would not have put me on hold in the first place.
   Then there are the ones that threaten you.  They have you on hold take you off long enough to say, “Please continue to hold.  If you hang up you will lose your place.  ALL calls are handled in the order they are received.”  You feel like a kid who is caught misbehaving by the teacher and is sent to the end of the line.
   But I guess that is better than calling someone only to hear this, “All lines are currently busy.  Please hang up and try your call later.”   Click.  Why say please hang up when they are going to hang up on you.  Maybe it so they have the excuses we said please.   This type of call doesn't even hold out a prayer of ever being answered.  You didn't win the lottery.  Better luck next time.  See ya.
   The more important your call is the ruder the hold response is.  These are usually utility companies or government agencies.  They know they have you over a barrel.  They know there is no one else you can call for your problem.  Can you say monopoly. 
   I get so mad with being put on hold.  My time is just as valuable as theirs is.  More so to me because it is mine.   They seem to enjoy stealing your time from you.  Now they don't even wait for you to call to steal it.  They call you. 
   Well in this case I am in charge not them.  You want to talk to me be there when I pick up.  Other wise I send you to back of the line and you will have to wait your turn. 
   All human calls are answered in the order the are received.  Computers calls are happily sent to the twilight zone of the disconnected.  Good luck getting  a hold of a human there.

Please Hold...

Maybe these companies need to make this mandatory reading.

Safe Drivers ???

  When family and friends get together you can learn so much about the people you thought you knew well.  All you have to do is listen...

   When our family gets together for weddings and such, you see people you haven't seen in years.  Everyone start reminiscing about the old days when they where younger.  I always like to listen in on the stories they share.  They get so wrapped up in the stories that they forget that your there and don't sensor them.

    At my sister's wedding a cousin and I sat in the living room with all the Uncles and Grandfather's and listened to the stories.   What did we find out?
    These men sitting in front of us ... the same ones who lecture us on our driving ...  Who tell us daily to be careful ....  And complained loudly that we drove too fast, when we drive 6 miles over the speed limit.  So what were they reminiscing about ... Drag Racing.

  

   These same men use to meet every week and hold drag racing events.  They talked about the cars and how they would spend every penny they had trying to build the perfect car.  They talked about the engines they rebuilt and blew up in the races.
   How nobody could ever beat my Granddad's blue Ford Fairlane with the big cop car engine in it. 

    My Uncle's tbird had come close until he souped up the engine so much it blew up during one of the races.

   The talked about the red sports car my Dad had that he loved to drive, until he spun out and wrecked it. They tried to recall exactly how many cars each of them had wrecked drag racing.
   These are the men that complained that we didn't know how to drive safely.  These are the men that  had made such a big deal out of hitting a shopping cart in the grocery store parking lot and scratching the bumper.  These men told us daily how we needed to be better drivers, and stay within the speed limits. 
   These are the safe drivers, who took it upon themselves to educate us on the way to drive.  And educate us they did.
   My cousin and I just sat there smiling, listening ...... and taking notes.
    

How to shave years off your life...answer the phone...

  Have you ever got that phone call.  You know the one you get when the other person starts out by saying “First off, I want you to know you don't have to worry everything is going to be okay, but....” 
   MAYDAY....MAYDAY... Emergency ahead.  You don't worry ... you go straight into panic mode.  Your brain immediately starts flashing every picture of every possible accident you have ever seen or heard about. 
   All you want is information... how bad is it...where are you... how fast can I get there.
   The person on the other end is trying not to panic you so they are talking very slowly.
   Ahhh, you just want to reach through the phone and strangle them.
  
   This has happened to all of us at one time or the other.  I have been on both sides of that call, as I am sure everyone has been.  Here are just two of the calls my mother has gotten.

  My mother got a call early in the morning once like this:
   'Hello'
   ' Ah, Mrs. H.  I want you to know everything is going to be all right.  The emergency room clerk just needs to get your health insurance information for A.'
   ' WHAT....What happened?'
    'He is going to be fine the Doctor said he could stitch the muscles and tendons back together.    And there shouldn't be any permanent damage to his hand.'
   'WHAT HAPPENED?  WHERE are you?'
   ' We are at the hospital.  But I'm sure they will let him go home as soon as he comes out of surgery. We just needed to get his medical information for the forms.'
   'WHAT hospital?  YOU STAY RIGHT THERE.  We are leaving now and will be there in 3 hours.'

   Turns out a glass broke and cut the back of my brother's hand.  The surgery was to clean and stitch the wound and make sure their was no damage to the nerves.  By trying not to panic us it sent our imaginations and heart rates into overdrive.
 
   Then there was the time my sister,  her 1year old son and 2 ½ year old daughter and myself where on the way home from a family funeral late at night.  We both had to work the next day so we didn't spend the night.
   Halfway home my transmission suddenly goes out.  I coast to the side of a very dark highway, get out and lift the hood to signal trouble.  This was before cell phones. Yes, back when dinosaurs ruled the earth and George Washington was president.
   Any way while I was opening the hood, I see  headlights come over the hill, slow down and pull behind the car.

   When I the door of the car opened I saw it was a Highway Patrol car and the officer had stopped to check on us.  He asked is there was anything he could do to help.
   I started to breath again, caught my racing heart and put it back in my chest where it belonged, and told him yes.  He told us the nearest town was 40 miles up the road and called a tow truck for us.
   He wanted to know if there was anyone we would like him to get a hold of to pick us up.
   I gave him my Grandmother's phone number, so he could get a hold of our parents to come get us.  He called it in on his radio.  Then he waited with us until the tow truck got there. 
   We where sitting in a truck stop restaurant  when our Mom and Dad stormed in and said 'Don't you ever do that to us again.'
   What did we do?  I didn't mean for the car to break down.  Why were they mad at us?
   After they calmed down I learned why they were so upset with us.  It seems that when the Highway Patrol called they spoke to my Grandmother and my mom and dad only heard one side of the conversation.

  What they heard was something like this:
   “Hello ... Yes this is Alice ...  Who did you say you where? ... Texas Highway Patrol....Yes, I have a granddaughter named Pamela .... Yes she is on her way back to Houston now... What happened? ... Where are they? .... Yes their parents are here with me now.... Okay, I'll get them for you.... Hold on.”

   I have since been on the receiving end of those calls a few times now and know the sheer panic you feel.  I can now appreciate exactly what my bothers, my sister and I put my parent through.  Calls like these will defiantly shave years off your life.
  Then again you still don't want to panic the person on the other end....
'Ah, There's no need to panic, but...'

Let me call you sweetheart....

   I have a horrible memory for names.  I remember faces but the names escape me.  No, it's not because I am getting older...More experienced.  I have always had this problem. 
   Why do you think I call everyone darling.  After all I'm not a Gabor sister.

Eva Gabor

                                   Oops, I just dated myself didn't I.


   This can get real embarrassing, like when you are trying to introduce someone.  I have done it so often that now it is expected of me.  I just brush it off with something like, okay I would like to introduce you  but you know I am horrible with names so just introduce yourselves.   Hey it worked for Dory in
Finding Nemo.
   When I taught dance, I had a little trick I did.  I would set the student's chart on a table by the floor and then dance them over to it to read the name.  I just pretended to see what step I needed to teach them next.  I knew that chart forward and backwards, literally.  I thought I was pretty slick until one Valentine's Day .....
   All my students got together and gave me a card.  It had Donald and Daisy Duck on it, and said ...Let me call you sweetheart.....Because I can't remember your name.
   I laughed and said... BUSTED.    They knew about it all the time.   Hey, I always said I got the smart people.
   Sometimes it helps to have accomplices.  If one of us couldn't remember a name, another one would go up to the person and introduce ourselves.  When we had the name we would walk by the other and tell them the name in passing.  Then they could go up to the person and pretend they knew the name the whole time.  That one worked like a charm.
   So if you forget names like I do, don't get upset about it.  Use one of the above tricks or make up a new one.  You could even try telling the truth ... I remember your face but I'm sorry your name escapes me. 
   Well, I hope I helped you out a little, Darling.

I'm not a stalker, I just got too big for my shell...

   I have been contacted through facebook by some of my fellow graduates from  high school.  I graduated with a lot of people.  Some of the ones I graduated with recommended other graduates, and so on and so on.
   Now I have a number of people on my friends list that I barely remember and who have no idea who I am.  Only one of them actually asked who are you.  You see I'm not the same person I was back then.  Back then I hid inside my own little shell.
   In high school I was not one of the cool kids.  I was too shy.  I am the one who sat at the back of the class and hid out.  I would turn bright red when I talked in front of more than 2 people... I'm not kidding I did.  I was in a drill team called the Shufflers.  We sat in the stands and preformed routines by flipping cards to form words and pictures.  But even then I was the quite one.  I didn't have a car and I walked to and from school.  So I didn't go hang out with the other students.  But I did have great legs...
    So what changed.  I learned not to take everything so seriously.  I didn't like talking in front of people so I took a speech class.  I had to talk then. 
   Then life took over and helped trained me.  I learned to joke around and not show my embarrassment.  When you blush easily you become an easy target.  So I had plenty of practice handling this one.  Like the time I turned 18 while working at an amusement park in my hometown.  The security guards that knew me got on the loud speaker and announced to all the employees “Hey Guys.  She's legal.”  You either laugh or die.....I'm still here.
   Then I took ballroom dance lessons because I was going with a polka band to Octoberfest in Germany.  I couldn't dance...period.  I got hooked on dancing.
   When I couldn't afford to pay for lessons any more I started teaching.  I spent a lot of time in the arms of strangers.  They were at my mercy and I was the boss.  That helped.  I took over the dance classes and taught 3 or 4 couples in the back room.  That quickly became 15-25 couples in the large ballroom.  I complained about the size because I was still a little bit shy with so many people.  I was told they picked you we didn't do it.  Wow... what a boost to my ego.   It taught me to be loud too. I had to be heard over the music and the feet on the floor.
   The embarrassment part, when your a dancer at competitions you've got sometimes 2 to 3 minutes to change costumes you don't have time for embarrassment.  I have stripped out of one outfit and into another in bathrooms, in hallways and once in the corner of the ballroom with two of my students holding up a sheet.  I have changed in a car while on the way to a dance competition, no I wasn't driving.  But the truck next to us did do a sudden lane change as I recall.  Hey I ya gota do what ya gota do.  There was no way I was going to be the one everyone had to wait on.   I never missed a mark.
   I have danced in front of tens of thousands of people at the Astrodome and on live TV for the Texas Sesquicentennial.  I think I got the blushing in front of people part handled.  The hardest part of that was learning how to pronounce Sesquicentennial.  
   I was an RMT (registered massage therapist), who specialized in pain management.  I have worked on athletes, CEO s, musicians, men, women and children.  Out of survival I have learned to handle awkward situations, and extract myself from them.  Yeah, Al G. you better not mess with me.
   The dancers, musicians and very dear friends that know me wouldn't have recognized me in High School.  So you see, even if you remember me from High School... you still don't know who I am.  I am a person in a constant state of change, as we all are.

My old High School...ahh, Memories....or nightmares.

I would like to thank Micheal for be brave enough to ask who I was and in turn giving me the idea for this blog.